Do you know what's not okay? Ignoring people.
I feel okay discussing this here, because this isn't a problem I have with anyone who reads my blog. (Well, I can't account for any lurkers, but if you're blog-stalking me and refusing to talk to me in real life... yeah, that's all you.)
Here's the thing, it's just not okay not to respond. It's not. I don't know if it's a result of how easy it is communicate in various instantaneous modes, and so now people take communication for granted, but it really is still a big deal. I think it's most offensive in personal relationships, but also professionally. Let me share some occurrences of the last few months.
First, let's talk about Potential Employers: um, did you get my application? Did you look at it? Did you hate it? I really have no idea, because you never responded to me, my e-mails, my cover letters, etc. Also, I interviewed at a school, they told me when they'd let me know whether or not I got the job... and they called a week after that. Yeah... I'd pretty much figured it out by then, but, hey thanks. I'd say it's a pretty prevalent problem. I've applied for about 50 jobs so far this summer, and very few of them have been so good as to recognize my humanity and communicate with me.
And, how about the people we all know and love? You know, friends who used to call at all hours of the night but now cannot manage to respond to a text message, or the friend who you wrote faithfully while on their mission but now they cannot manage to type a little IM response, or the favorite professor who claimed to want to help you in any way but then ignored your e-mail and in person requests for letters of recommendation twice. These are just a few that were on my mind last night when the last straw broke.
Sometimes it is okay not to respond. Those times include extremities (read: deaths, being lost in the wilderness for extended time periods, hostage situations, etc.), and that's about it. Because really, how are people supposed to take it if you don't take the 10 seconds-2 minutes it would take to send a text or make a phone call? Even if it was just to say, "Hey, I can't talk right now," that would be something.
The problem with me is I chalk it up to broken phones, shaky internet, lost mail, etc. until that becomes totally improbable, then I take it personally for all of a minute, and then it changes to this silent-treatment inducing rage. Probably not the best reaction, but also a fairly normal one.
Preventing that cyclic rage is probably why our wise forefathers invented manners.
5 comments:
Oh do I feel you on this one!!! Big surprise I know, but seriously, if I open the lines of communication it is within my rights to expect a response and it is downright RUDE not to respond. People are just bad at that these days. I can be too, but I feel bad about it and will likely apologize if I take too long. Good Rant, Aub. Good Rant.
I feel your pain. (((Aubs)))
ooh, I was so angry the night before I wrote this post... Then I got even angrier because I maimed my blog with my rage post, and I don't want this to be a rant blog, I want it to be a happy, life's amusing kind of blog, but I had to let it out somehow. You know, rants happen.
Which all makes me even more grateful to have kindred spirits such as yourselves :)
I sure do love this post Aubrey! I think I might know some of the people you may be writing about...Anyway...You sure are a fantastic writer, I know that is probably a really silly thing to say to an English major, but just so you know I am very much enjoying reading your stories--very entertaining.
Oh thank you Sus! That is very kind of you :) You most definitely have heard about those people- thanks for always listening!
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