Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Year in Review

I really am not much of a New Year's observer. I tend to keep track of years by birthdays because it seems a little more personally relevant. But, the last couple of weeks I've been thinking about what an astounding year it has been, and I thought I'd list a couple of highlights/important moments. In no particular order...

*I read about 60 books in their entirety which ended up being about 15,330 pages. It doesn't really look that remarkable, but trust me... that's a TON of reading.

*I got a 4.0 during one of my hardest semesters of college and made the Dean's list (!)

*I did some incredibly big spontaneous things, like deciding to live all by myself (which has been wonderful and something I'd always planned on doing, and even though the real plan was to do it in Manhattan, this works for now) and quitting my job on a whim

*Won over 93 cute little 7th graders by talking to them about flesh eating bacteria, The Office, Twilight, and various video games.

*My car was seemingly totaled after it got high-centered on a bike jump (long story), BUT was miraculously resurrected (and for a lot less money than anticipated)

*Gave in to whatever strange sleeping disorder I have that makes me want to sleep all the time.

*Wrote the 1st ever (and worst ever) Weylandian short story with my good friend Lauren : ) I've never let so many cliches be attached to my name, but I'm proud of this one.

*Wrote 3 essays in French. That is tough stuff.

*Lived on almost only granola bars for like a week.

*Was labeled as the leader of a rebellion. You're laughing, but this is true.

*Wrote a radio ad that was actually broadcast (so what if it was only in Nevada?)

*Wore fake eyelashes for the 1st time ever (and hated them)

*Forgot about worrying about what people think me.

Sheesh... that's just the tip of the iceberg! On a related topic, I really dislike New Year's resolutions. I'm a very goal-oriented person, but I think it's better to be working on things like that the whole year and not just the first two weeks of January. But, if you're interested, here are some things I'm working on right now:

*Honestly expressing my opinions. I want to be an agreeable person, really, and for the most part I am, but I am really, truly going to stop pretending to like things that I don't. For example, I ate 1.5 Oreos today to be nice, but I hate Oreos, they make me gag.

*Remembering to check the oil in my car.

*Give people the benefit of the doubt. I keep finding myself being surprised by how wonderful people are, and I think it would save a lot of time to assume that they are wonderful and let them prove it one way or the other after that.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A New Trend in Dating

Dating is becoming even more treacherous than it was previously. (And it has always been treacherous, for the record.) The treachery increases almost exponentially as the disconcerting trend of tricking someone into going out with you becomes more and more widespread. In all seriousness, in the last 4 months I have been tricked into 3 dates. I realize that I am a remarkably gullible and naive girl, but I don't think that means I deserve to be constantly finding myself on a pseudo-date that I never intended to be on.
The Problem: I'm not sure exactly what is leading to the decline in up-front dating. It seems so simple to say, "Would you like to go out sometime?" And it seems so complicated to cook up some crazy scheme to connive your way into spending a few hours with an unsuspecting girl. Oh the lengths some people will go to to save face.
A Matter of Semantics: Here's the thing, when you say, "Let's hang out," a girls believes that you mean "Let's hang out." If, in fact, you mean, "Let's get dinner and watch a movie. Oh, and by the way, I plan on holding your hand," it would be more accurate to tell the girl you'd like to take her on a date. (If this term is unclear you might want to refer to a dictionary.)
The Co-Conspirator: Please do not be a co-conspirator to someone who wants to con a sweet single senorita. Co-conspirator activities would include: inviting over the unsuspecting girl and a single man and then arranging it so that they will have to be together for an entire evening in a stunningly date-like nondate situtation; encouraging office romances by assigning the poor girl to work with someone you call her "soulmate;" insisting that a girl and a man she has never spent ten minutes alone with are a truly "perfect couple" thereby encouraging the man to adopt this phrase himself to the girl's absolute dismay.
The Bottom Line: Although it may save you the trouble, potential rejection, and maybe even some cash to trick someone into a date, it will not win over someone's heart. You've already proved yourself cowardly and deceptive- and those are not generally on the attribute list of Mr. Right. There may be naive girls out there (like me) who will fall for the ruse, but as soon as they realize what's going on (naive and stupid are worlds apart) you'll have been discovered for the phony dater you are.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


I used to have a problem with doing everything the day before it was due. Now, I have a problem with doing everything the day it is due. Good thing that this college business is almost over.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Well, that was exactly the sort of thing I was trying to avoid...

So, I had the most mortifying experience today. First off, a little background info: I am in the middle of my English teaching practicum, which is sort of like a pre-student teaching experience. I love it. I teach three 7th grade English classes, and those kids are fantastically funny and cute. Here's the thing though... it's jr. high. I don't know if you remember, but kids in jr. high are mean. And, they can be especially mean to teachers, and even more especially terrible to student teachers. Remembering all of the horrible things that we said and did to student teachers when I was that age, I have been very, very careful not to give them any sort of ammunition. You know, keep all of my strange make-fun-able characteristics to myself. And it was going so well... until today.
What happened: I got up bright and early, showered, and then put on some lotion someone had given me. It was wildflower lotion... in theory. I go to the jr. high and do a fun little review activity about metaphors and similes with the kids. After the activity is done, I am collecting some papers, and when I get to the last desk this boy is like, "You smell like celery." I was mortified. I said, "That's weird." And I think the poor kid thought I meant that he was weird (they are very sensitive about that), and so I asked nervously, "Like I smell grossly or weirdly much like celery?" And he said "No; just like celery, it's not bad." Still wanted to die.
Great, I will be the celery teacher. She was nice, but she smelled like celery. Fantastic.
I go back to my desk and am trying to figure out why this is the case. And then it comes to me... the lotion. Wildflowers, no. Celery, maybe. Needless to say, I am not ever using that lotion again.

*On a less distressing note, here's a gem from the simile/metaphor discussion:
Teacher (not me, the real teacher): What did it mean when Shakespeare wrote "Juliet is the sun"?
Student: She's hot!
Other Student: Probably, Romeo was a ladies' man.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

In Celebration... of the Potato?

According to one of my favorite websites of all time ( and Wikipedia, 2008 has been declared by the UN as the International Year of the Potato "in order to increase awareness of the importance of the potato as a food in developing nations.” I thought that was pretty cool. So, here are some thoughts on: THE POTATO- The most versatile of vegetables... Potatoes come in a multitude of forms: mashed, baked, twice-baked, boiled, in pancake form, in dessert form (spudnuts anyone?), as chips, as fries... etc. I bet you've eaten them in most if not all of their available forms, but did you know...
* On average, people eat about 73 lbs. of potatoes a year.
* The potato originated in South America and wasn't introduced in Europe until 1536.
* Unlike other foods, the potato can be cooked in a microwave w/out losing any of its nutritional value.
* Although poisoning from potatoes is very rare, wild potatoes contain a concentration of glycoalkaloid that can produce toxic effects in humans.
I'm impressed.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

To the woman who callously took my burrito out of the microwave while I was standing right there: you destroyed what was left of my faith in humanity.

... at least for a couple of minutes. Here's the whole story:

On Monday, I had about an hour before my late class started. Not having time for much else, I bought a frozen burrito from the vending machine for dinner and put in the microwave for the recommended two minutes. Now, I think we can all agree that there is something of a "Microwave Etiquette" in such places as breakrooms and student lobbies. It's probably safe to say that the following rules apply:

1. First come, first serve.
2. You should always try to use the microwave for the shortest amount of time possible because other people probably need it. (I would say three minutes is the polite max, but up to four and a half minutes might be acceptable if you smile apologetically at the people in line behind you)
3. If your food explodes all over the microwave, you should wipe it up.
And finally, rule 4, the rule that really should never have to be stated: You should never touch someone else's food. That is rude. And unsanitary.

To continue: My burrito had started to cook and I decided to sit down a mere 2 feet from the microwave, and here's apparently where I went wrong, with my back to it. Having rested for a mere 45 seconds, I turn around to check on my food, and am SHOCKED to see the same middle-aged woman who had nearly me ran into while I was buying my burrito has taken it out of the microwave and placed it on top so that she could microwave a muffin or a bagel or something.

I was not really sure how to respond. My gut instinct was to flat out ask her, "Are you serious?" But, being the incredibly non-confrontational girl that I am I turned back around and did some deep breathing. I was seriously annoyed. This woman (a grown woman mind you) had the inflated self-concept to believe that she was so important (and so much more important than me) that she could not wait the minute and 15 seconds to microwave her food. Where did she get off? What was the world coming to?

When I turned back around she was gone. I finished cooking my burrito. I ate it unhappily thinking of all the germs that could have jumped aboard during its little journey. I fumed my way to class, and then... I was hit by this realization: The whole thing was ridiculously funny. She was totally out of line, don't get me wrong, but I had an unusual story to share about a woman who hi-jacked a microwave and led me to informally publish the rules of microwave etiquette. Silver linings I guess...

Sunday, July 27, 2008

A list of some superb words (and their meanings):

disabuse: set right, undeceive.
interpose: place between or among, interrupt with.
sumptuous: lavish, luxurious grand.
cahoots: secret partnership.
skullduggery: dishonest trickery.
virulent: like a poison, deadly; bitterly hostile.
heinous: wicked, reprehensible.
incredulous: skeptical
preternatural: extraordinary, above the average

Saturday, July 5, 2008

The First Post (ooh!!)

Sometimes I think that writing a blog is a little pretentious. So, I guess I should explain why I decided to start one: This is (most likely) the closest I will ever get to being a syndicated columnist. Yeah... it's not that close. Still, I feel a little like Anna Quindlen when I think about sitting down to write about my everyday life experiences and reflecting on their larger cosmic significance. And maybe just feeling that way is what I want. In any case, something worked if your reading this. (was it the blog's title? I thought that was pretty clever.)

Here's today's thought: Isn't it amazing how people decide to take a day and just celebrate? I don't think it even matters what people celebrate, it is just so refreshing to see people enjoying life. For example, today is the 4th of July- such a fun holiday. I think one of the best parts of being alive is sitting on a blanket on a grassy hill watching fireworks on the 4th. And since firework-viewing grassy hills can be hard to come by, you're not usually the only ones there. Right next to you there might be a young couple, staring at each other instead of the fireworks. And nearby will be the young family with kids who are just going crazy over what they are seeing. And, if they aren't wholly engrossed by that, they will discover the exhilerating joy of chasing each other with sparklers while nearby adults spout maxims about running with sharp, firey objects. And last, but not least, are the old people, sitting in their plaid-patterned lawn chairs talking about Bill or Sharon's latest operation. This is what I saw tonight, anyway. It's beautiful. The angriness and ugliness of everyday life disappear. This is probably the definition of a holiday, and also the same reason there are so many. I think everyday should be a holiday.